WE HAVE BANANAS

Happy Birthday Lulu!

2010-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Wonderful City

2009-10-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

You Can't Beat This!

This video was the final strike on Rio de Janeiro's victory as the Olympic City - 2016. Produced by O2 under Fernando Meirelle's supervision, it explains why Rio is by far the most beautiful and delicious city in the world. And where I plan to move next.

WORLD CUP Russia 2 X USA 1

2009-08-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

beyond frontiers

2009-07-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

One month without posts, one month discovering the Andean world.

The photo album Uyuni holds the images I've captured along part of the journey.
I invite you to take a good look.

And here's a taste, just in case:

Taken in Uyuni, Provincia de Potosí, Bolivia.

Birthday Present from the Heavens!

2009-06-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

The week's funniest video - a very peculiar interpretation of a cheesy classic. Total Eclipse of the Heart, literally!

30 and what comes along

2009-06-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

Shall we dance?

2009-05-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ask your Doctor What HAVIDOL can do for you!

2009-05-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little (insert ANYTHING) lately?
Not to worry: modern pharmaceuticals can certainly solve anything
Warning: HAVIDOL is for the millions not suffering from ED, OCD, ADD, PTSD, PMDD, GAD, SAD, CFS, RLS, or BBT.

For more enlightment, www.havidol.com

This is one of many reasons the japanese are awesome:

2009-05-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

Dialogues We Would Like to See- Pt.4

2009-05-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

Lost 100th. Episode Tonight.

2009-04-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

After a rough two-week draught we get to quench our thirst with a Faraday episode!

Here's the cake they had to celebrate this TV Milestone:

Here's a much fetished Lost Lego set:

And shirt #2 on my geek list:Shirt #1 is here.

Finally, I'd like to suggest another mystery to the 345 unanswered ones:Is Benjamin Linus, in fact, Tom Petty's estranged son?

To download the 100th episode, The Variable Lost.S05E14 , click here. You're welcome!

What were they thinking? - 10 Celebrity WTF Moments.

2009-04-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just want to be futile... Here's some pictures I've found online.

Angelina wears her dress backwards.
About as WTF as she ever gets these days.
WTF scale: 1

Courtney Love does, well, Courtney Love.
Not much of a shocker considering who it is.
WTF scale: 2

George Clooney goofing around.
It's sort of ridiculous, but it's Clooney, so still hot.
WTF scale: 3

P.Diddy meets Joaquin Phoenix 2.0
No surpises, seen as Joaquin is the WTF Celebrity of the decade, but the expression on Diddy's face is priceless.
WTF scale: 4

Marky Mark is Linda Hunt.
It's uncanny.
WTF scale: 5

Keith Harring paints Grace Jones for Timbalada
May be a stretch, after all, when it comes to Grace Jones and the eighties, this was as outrageous as Hannah Montana, still.
WTF scale: 6 because of this.

Kiefer Sutherland settles a bet.
May be photoshopped, but I'd rather think this is right up Kiefer's alley.
WTF scale: 7

Glenn Close breaks the world record for stuffing baby carrots in the mouth.
Don't know the context, don't need to.
WTF scale: 8

Frank Sinatra as a Indian Chief
Now that's some serious branding. Zeligean.
WTF scale: 9

Sean Connery as the King of Zardoz
Do I need to?
WTF scale: 10

2009-04-28T08:43:00.001-07:00

5 Crazy Comedies from the 80's that Marked my Childhood.

2009-04-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

My brother recently decided to revisit some of the movies we used to watch over and over again after school when we were kids. His selection prompted me to write this post. There was a small video store down the street, and our member card there was number 3 - which meant we spent hours and hours scrutinizing their every VHS tape, though in the rare occasions when Indiana Jones or Superman wasn't picked, we'd go home with one of these movies:

1-AIRPLANE, 1980
Still one of my favorites, this gem by comedy geniuses Jerry Zucker and Jim Abrahams was actually based on a 1957 film called Zero Hour!. Woody Allen is also a fan - he personally congratulated the directors.

Some things you may not know about it:
- David Letterman auditioned for the role of Ted Striker.
- In the Italian version (they dub everything there), the basketball player's "jive talk" was translated into Neapolitan dialect. In Germany, it was Bavarian. And in Brazil, they did this crazy attempt at 80's slang that makes the movie very funny to watch on TV. The Brazilian title was also awesome: "Fasten your seatbelts, the pilot's gone!"
- The "automatic pilot" blow up dummy was stored in Jerry Zucker's garage until it rot. His name was Otto.

Favorite scene
This movie is so full of hilarious moments it's hard to choose. The scene when all passengers line up to hit the hysterical woman, all of Striker's flashbacks, and the whole kalamazoo regarding fish vs. chicken are unforgettable. But there's this little scene that always made me lose my breath, and I'd have to rewind the tape every time. I think it's so funny because you really don't see it coming:
Is it still funny today?
I have just rolled over laughing when I found this scene on youtube, so yeah, it still rocks.

2- TOP SECRET, 1984
Another Zucker+Abrahams enterprise, this one parodied spy movies of the forties. At the time I used to like it better than Airplane, but maybe that's because of Val Kilmer. It was his first movie, by the way.

Some things you may not know about it:
- The black conductor calling for tickets in ostensible German is actually reciting the old Yiddish saying, "May you grow like an onion, with the head in the ground.
- This film actually came U$1M under budget, which is unseen in Hollywood, but no surprise considering Zucker's production style: fast, cheap and funny (Airplane was shot in 34 days).
- Directors decided to thank Omar Shariff for taking the British Agent role with a very expensive dinner, which he accepted. When the day came, he didn't show up and they found out he was already in England. When he was later asked why he didn't come, he replied, "It's a tradition in my culture not to 'refuse' any offer. Example: someone offers you a drink, you should accept it even though you won't drink it."

Favorite scene
Many scenes in this movie used to make us laugh (the one at the pizza place in particular), and I specially liked the european stereotyped characters. But the Swedish Bookshop scene was always one of our favorites, mostly because of the magnifying lens gag, but also because it is entirely played backwards so that the actors could speak "Swedish".
Is it still funny today?
Not as funny, but definitely still brings out the laughs, specially with the more "mature" jokes we didn't get at the time.

3-SPACEBALLS, 1987
Back in those days I used to really love Mel Brooks, and Springtime for Hitler is a masterpiece, regardless of how it was disheveled in its Broadway and subsequent recent filmic musical adatation The Producers. Spaceballs hit the peak of our natural 80's-child Star Wars obsession, and was one to be seen with our cousins who loved it to death.

Some things you may not know about it:
- The actual Millennium Falcon from Star Wars was a prop parked at the diner. George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic constructed the ring lightsabers for the film. He of course approved of the spoof, being a fan of Mel Brooks.
- President Skroob's name is an anagram of Mel Brooks, who plays him.
- John Candy's "Barf" costume was powered by a 30-pound battery that he wore on his back.

Favorite scene
I'd say this film is funnier for its quotes ("I bet she gives great helmet", "At last we meet again for the first time for the last time" and "May the schwartz be with you" ) than for the actual scenes, but I can't help giggling at Rick Moranis with his giant Vader helmet. This is one of his funniest moments:
Is it still funny today?
Our sense of humor has definitely evolved, but Brooks' dialogues stand the test of time.

4- LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, 1986
Here's Rick Moranis again! Though this film doesn't fit the satyrical-wacky style of the previous ones, it still fascinated us, Maybe it was the music, but I think it had more to do with the hilarious gigantic carnivore plant. Frank Oz directed this gem.

Some things you may not know about it:
- The movie is a musical adaptation of a 1960's Roger Corman B Classic. The role played by Bill Murray (masochistic dentist's patient) was given to Jack Nicholson on the original version - his debut on the screen.
- The instruments used by the sadistic dentist (played by Steve Martin) were re-used as props in David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers, in a much creepier way.
- TWO cranes were used (one on top of another) to achieve the zoom pull at the end of "Somewhere that's Green". You can actually notice the jerk when the camera switches cranes.

Favorite scene
Well it is a musical, and both my brother and I still know all lyrics by heart (he happens to know the score as well). But the one scene that got rewound the most was (surprise) the dentist opening act, mostly due to the shot from within the mouth that so amazed our childish eyes:
Is it still funny today?
It is still entertaining, though not as funny. Audrey II still makes us laugh.

5-AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON, 1987
I used to have an 80's Celebrities Almanac, and it surprised me to see that so many "stars" at the time had taken part on this movie with the strangest title of all. To our amazement, our local video store carried a copy of it, which I promptly took home one day. It seemed to amuse my brother, who rented it again a few times. It's actually not a film in itself, but a collection of sketches, directed by many people, amongst them John Landis (The Blues Brothers) and Joe Dante (Gremlins).

Some things you may not know about it:
- The film was John Landis' follow up to "Kentucky Fried Movie", which he directed under production of the Zucker Bros. (Airplane was their follow-up). "Amazon Women" references that.
- Cast includes Arsenio Hall, Michelle Pfeiffer, Phil Hartman, Griffin Dunne, Rosana Arquette, Carrie Fisher and BB King.
- The "release date" for the movie keeps changing: "We now return to our feature film, the 195? classic, Amazon Women on the Moon...”.

Favorite scene
We did have a very specific favorite scene (since most jokes were either too American or too adult for us to get). It involved a guy who goes to buy condoms for his first date ever and happens to be the 1000th costumer at the drugstore, attracting cameras and press, when he wanted as much discretion as possible. It's really funny. Unfortunately, I couldn't find that scene on youtube, so I leave you with the trailer:
Is it still funny today?
As you can see from the trailer, the film is pretty dated. I don't think I'll watch it again.

BONUS: WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S, 1989
What can I say. Bernie dies on the first 30 minutes and goes on for 2 sequels.

My favorite scene wasn't online (it's when Bernie Lomax flies skiing off the boat), but the trailer gives a pretty good idea of the film's awesomeness:
Is it still funny today?
Just thinking of Bernie raising his hand every time someone said "Hi Bernie" still cracks me up.

Click here to see 5 surreal films you've probably never heard of.

Sunday Reading

2009-04-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

Very interesting article by Chip Brown today on the New York Times Magazine. Tells the story of a Zen master who ended up in psychoanalysis, juxtaposing two entirely contradicting universes that share but a common goal. Stimulating nutrients for your brain on a sunday afternoon:

"How could he have spent his life cultivating unity of body and mind, oneness with all beings and the ability to apprehend reality directly, unmediated by thoughts or concepts or what Zen considered the arch delusion of “the self” — only to be haunted by the feeling that he lacked the most basic unity of all?"

to read the full article, click here.

The Poster is Out!

2009-04-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

Here's the official poster for Brüno, the very most anticipated movie this year (I know I've said that before, but this time it's true, I swear).

If you haven't yet seen the trailer, take a sit and roll over:

I hold that Sacha Baron Cohen is right up there with Chaplin and Keaton. Will be at the premiere.

Notebook

2009-04-25T14:00:00.001-07:00

This is for fans of post-modern surrealism. A short animation film by the amazing Evelien Lohbeck, a dutch artist and filmmaker.

Noteboek from Evelien Lohbeck on Vimeo.

To see more of her incredible work, check out Evelien's website.
To see more incredible surreal films, click here.

via Neatorama.

I love 30Rock

2009-04-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

We also love 30rock, but what we love even more is the internet that brings us not only fresh episodes, but also true expressions of adoration by lovely fans everywhere:

Via Gawker.

Technorati Profile

DICKS EVERYWHERE! - Part 2

2009-04-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

We must confess we were surprised by the number of hits our penis inspired post has received. We'd love to believe that has little to do with teenagers looking for age-verification-free porn and more to do with other ladies who, just like us, are fascinated with this bodily part we do not own. We know that's delusional.

And we must say that since posting that thing, penises continued to show up in different form everywhere we went online. In honor of that, we decided to post the second part of this phallic compilation.

Nature continues to do its part, manifesting its love of the phallus everywhere:
MooncockDickberg
Cock Island
Crock

More trees:

Shroomdongs Phallusiensis Arbolius.

And cocktus:

Mr. Potato Johnson?
I don't even know what these animals are - and I don't want to:

Some of these things must have been conceived with malice:

Something worth praying for
Inspiring work creativity:It may just be a matter of point of viewBut I'd still like to know the point of view of these peopleSex sells, after all

Ok, fine, you can say, it's all in the eye of the beholder... We can always blame advertising.

Not always subtle, but definitely true when it comes to beer. I love japan. and I'd love to eat some cock fish.
It's got such appeal you can use it to sell pomegranate juice.
It's almost ponographic.
Then again, it is.

And it's not just big advertisement, no, no. Check out the logo for a chinese restaurant:
Don't forget to cock your seat.
It's all over television.
So it had to end up in Star Trek.
It's not like William Shatner has ever fooled anyone.

Click for DICKS EVERYWHERE! - Part 1

2009-04-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

Dialogues with no Dialogue

2009-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ditto

2009-04-22T10:00:00.001-07:00

Couldn't agree more.

Banksy for All

2009-04-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

The book "Existencilism" by street artist extraordinaire Banksy is now available for download in PDF, and it is said Banksy himself uploaded it for share.

This comes as a gift for a generation thirsty for art icons. Just think about it: at the aqe of information, an artist like Banksy has nearly exclusively conceived the perfect marketing strategy to survive within his own ideology while gaining pop star status worldwide. I don't currently see anything more "punk" than him in mass media. I have at times believed that there was never any "artist", but a collective of people, behind his body of work (he is prolific, after all). This book claims otherwise. Draw your own conclusions.

To download the book click here.

The Most Popular President in the World - Pt. 2

2009-04-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Please take a close look at the picture below, taken last saturday at the Summit of the Americas:

Now the headline at Folha de São Paulo said that, in the picture, Barack Obama was looking at Lula. Everyone's looking at Lula, he's the center of the universe. In the words of Ruy Castro "Now all that is left for him is to be a Carnival theme for Portela or feature presentation at Holday on Ice". But they miss their point -the real question behind this picture is: what the hell is Shaquille O'Neal doing there behind Obama, did he buy some country in the Caribbean or something?

Anyway, here at the WE HAVE BANANAS we still believe president Obama is a little more popular than his Brazuca counterpart. We can measure that with a collection of Obama references that can be found online.

He's connected to the EarthHe's fertile and nutritious.
He lights up people's lives.
And this isn't too far from Carnaval.

Check out the wide array of products that carry his brand:

Obama SneakersObama Sushi
Holy Obama.
Everyone needs an Obama Chia Pet.
OTP.
He sells ice cream.
He changes money.
He's got his own action figure.
And its own chinese bootleg!
And yes, there is even an Obama dildo! Which is certainly a step up from the George W. Buttplugs.
And the most daring of them all: here's Obama LSD! If you're looking for change...

And the media just loves him:

Emo ObamaBaroque Obama!!! (This one is my favorite)
I'm puttin' a cap in you ass Obama.
Matrix Obama

He's got huge international appeal:

A look-alike in Indonesia.Engaged fans in Italy

Obama's accomplished the greatest feat of all, which is not to be elected man of the year by Time magazine, but to be on the cover o MAD magazine his very first week in office!

And to top it off, when Obama was elected they had his very acceptance speech, on South Park, word by word, just one day later!!!

So we think the Brazilian media should start taking it easy on Lula, because for now it looks like everybody wants

PS.There is one last detail, too, that can vouch for his landslide victory on this popularity context:

The Most Popular President in the World

2009-04-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

These were the words of Barack Obama about Brazilian President Lula at the G20 Summit a few weeks ago. Not to brag, but this week Lula has achieved a phenomenal accomplishment: He was featured on SOUTH PARK, bit by bit!

Now this is a guy who has come a long way.

Just like Rodrigo Santoro in Lost, he didn't have any lines. Yet both still served as a reminder that there is intelligent life on TV and that at least they know who we are.
(At 0:36)

But as it goes, most life on TV falls out of the intelligent category, and "Brazil" may at times seem like a far-fetched concept:

Oh Tyra, Tyrannossaurous Extraordinaire, a Brazil Nut?? Really? Couldn't you have pushed at least for a Caipirinha? And just because we speak "portuguese" doesn't mean we can even understand what a guy from PORTUGAL has to say! And finally, Miss Jay, there are NO maracas in Samba...The whole thing was hilariously disastrous and completely un-PC. Love it!

Next week on ANTM's 12th cycle they are bringing the girls to Brazil. The episodes were shot months ago, but I can't wait to see them on youtube running around São Paulo. Fierce!

2009-04-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

God IS the DJ !!!

2009-04-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

See? I told you so!

Budapest

2009-04-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

When I first arrived in Budapest they took me to lunch at a TGF's inside of a mall, and I had a quesadilla because I didn't want american food. I went out for a cigarette and learned that Kozonom meant thank you. It sounded like "What's your name?" in portuguese. I spent that afternoon inside an office downtown pretending to pay attention to some order of business while my mind was looking for where my life was. I had no idea what I was doing in Hungary. I had no money on me and all my personal effects where stored in Los Angeles. My return ticket was for Paris, my partner of choice was in Rome and my only way out was in São Paulo. I spent a few hours at a hostel in Pest where no matter how hard I tried I could not communicate with the teenagers hanging at the lobby, drinking beer and smoking copious amounts of cigarettes. I needed a lighter, there was no internet. They took me to a charming house in Buda where I could actually rest and watch hungarian television. I had Chico Buarque on my head the entire time, his book, the complete sense of displacement, and the quote that said "Hungarian is the only language the devil respects". It always gave me the impression of someone banging away at the typewriter, the accent marks where they just didn't belong. I loved the statues everywhere and how they seemed more lively than the people in the city. I met some of of Budapests' best: intellectual, authors, editors, actors, some of whom I regret not being in touch with anymore due to the straining circumstances that followed that trip. I had amazing goulash and excessive palinka, and spent a rainy day at a bath house, by myself, avoiding the hottest pools. That afternoon, when I got out, I bought a corn on the cob from a booth by the park. It was the sweetest corn I've ever tasted.

The Wolf and The Pig

2009-04-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

This is genius! Gotta love stop motion.

25.000 HITS!!!

2009-04-16T01:26:00.000-07:00

Thank You Very Much*Muitíssimo Obrigada*Muchas Gracias*Merci Beaucoup*Grazie Tanti*Danke schön!*Mockrát Děkuji*Nagyon Köszönöm*Maraming Salamat*御苦労様。*Hlava Lepa*Большое Спасибо*Mulţumesc Foarte Mult*ευχαριστώ πολύ!*Kiitos Paljon

2009-04-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

McDonald's: Official Sponsor of the WORLD CUP

2009-04-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

Well friends, it is time for a new edition of the WORLD CUP championship, officially sponsored by the McDonald's fast food chain company that supports our athletes with healthy and nutritious meals.

RUSSIA's first World Cup match attracts massive crowds.

The players on the CHINESE team are of a different breed (Shar Pei, I believe).

Due to strong climate changes, Finland's team nearly didn't make it this year.

The DUTCH crew was pioneer in teaming up with the players from JAMAICA in order to score more and more goals.

The brave NIGERIAN team, with cash flow shortage, never lost its enthusiasm, and even brought their mascot!

The SAUDI ARABIANs were not able to bring many people, but compensated with two kebabs for the price of one.

Of course, the USA fans were the first to arrive and anxiously await the opening of the gates.

So let's move on to the first official game:
México 2 X Denmark 1

I'm Lovin' It!!!

5 Fantastic Surreal Films You've Probably Never Heard Of

2009-04-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

I've compiled a list of films I have been fortunate enough to watch and have deeply influenced me. They really take visual language to the next level. These are virtually unknown in Brazil and mostly hard to find elsewhere.

1. CONSPIRATORS OF PLEASURE (Spiklenci Slasti)
Jan Svankmajer, Czech Republic - 1996

It's definitely my favorite film.
Svankmajer is a master of surrealism and a world-reference for stop-motion animation. Although this isn't one of his most known films, I consider it his masterpiece. With no dialogues (nor need for any), the characters never meet - and obliviously craft a synesthetic network where fetishes and desires are realized in a surprising manner. You could oversimplify it as being a film about onanism full of surreal sequences with Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony as soundtrack, but that wouldn't do it justice. Pure cinema at its best.

value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Fjl7jTI7qjw&hl=en&fs=1">

2. O LUCKY MAN!
Lindsay Anderson, UK - 1976

This nearly 4-hour epic was part of the British Film "New Wave". As with everything in the seventies, it was revolutionary, critical of capitalism, completely mad and had Malcolm McDowell at his peak in the cast. He plays a traveling coffee salesman who gets into absurd (and increasingly surreal) situations, fostering discussion over topics as varied as sexual freedom and industrial oppression. Directed by "If...'"'s Lindsay Anderson, it counts with a great soundtrack by Alan Price. The whole film used to be on youtube, but they've removed the first parts.

3. W.R. MYSTERIES OF THE ORGASM (W.R. - Misterije Organizma)
Dusan Makavejev, Yoguslavia - 1971

Even crazier, more subversive and revolutionary, it's a miracle this film got made at the peak of Yugoslavia's communist regime. Of course, Makavejev was exiled shortly afterwards. Counterpointing the out-there sexual theories of Wilhelm Reich, creator of the Orgasmatron, with the Soviet State's agenda and the porn industry, "W.R." travels through uncharted territories and is definitely the wackiest on the list. It revolves around the basic premise that Stalinism was a freudian form of sexual repression, and it rolls from there.

4. COLOR OF POMEGRANATES - Sayat Nova (Цвет граната)
Sergey Paradjanov, USSR -1968

Years before Jodorowski, there was an Armenian genius born in the Republic of Georgia who went on to study at the Moscow Film Institute and decided to do everything exactly against the aesthetic standards of the soviet regime. Fully immersed into the surreal, Paradjanov was a visual poet who constructed fantastic sceneries capable of outshining the most creative music video director today. He'd rescue pre-revolutionary slavic cultural elements with no concern for the realism of the proletariat. A real revolutionary after all. "Pomegranates" is loosely based on the works of Armenian Poet Sayat Nova.

5. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN (A Matter of Life and Death)
Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, UK - 1946

This post-war masterpiece was part of the allied effort between UK and the USA, and despite being the most traditionally narrative piece on this list, it takes fantastic liberties by transiting between the "real" world and an imaginary "heaven" you can get to by means of a gigantic stairway. Filled with special effects, the film tells the story of an American Pilot (David Niven) who evades his death and falls in love with an English nurse. He then goes on to a heavenly trial in order to assure his right to live this love story. While the celestial images are in black and white, Earth is strongly technicolored, and delightful characters abound. A classic that has stood the test of time.

BONUS: AFTER LIFE (Wandâfuru raifu)
Hirokazu Kore-eda, Japan 1998

I left this one as a bonus because it gained a certain cult status and you may have seen it. It does have a certain pop appeal that suits generation-x'ers like a glove. The film has an amazing premise: "Death" consists in living eternally inside a film reproduction of the happiest moment of our lives. The catch is that the people who can't manage to chose such moment end up working as crew for other people's happy films. It does border on melodramatic at moments, but its serene photography helps build a poetic fable that gets us thinking.

To watch another amazing post-modern surreal animation, click here.

To see 5 Hilarious Crazy Comedies that marked the 80's click here.

WeI want to say thanks to all the people from far away places like Japan, Indonesia, Hungary, Finland and Romenia, not to mention the US and the UK, who have been flooding our humble brazilian blog. Please feel free to leave a comment, and if you like the post, check out the rest of the blog. You make us very happy.

Jacob made me do it

2009-04-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

From now on this is my excuse for everything:

How come no one's made this shirt yet?

WORLD CUP Brasil 2 X Belgium 1

2009-04-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

Jean Claude Van Damme on a very tacky Brazilian 80's TV show. Getting a hard on while dancing with Gretchen.

Twitter sucks!

2009-04-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

2009-04-07T00:10:00.001-07:00

Little People

2009-04-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's officially my most anticipated film this year.

oh shit. i'm fucked.

2009-04-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

Wash

2009-04-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

transitive verb
1 a: to cleanse by or as if by the action of liquid (as water) b: to remove (as dirt) by rubbing or drenching with liquid
2: to cleanse (fur) by licking or by rubbing with a paw moistened with saliva
3 a: to flush or moisten (a bodily part or injury) with a liquid b (1): to wet thoroughly : drench (2): to overspread with light : suffuse c: to pass a liquid (as water) over or through especially so as to carry off material from the surface or interior
4: to flow along or dash or overflow against
5: to move, carry, or deposit by or as if by the force of water in motion
6 a: to subject (as crushed ore) to the action of water to separate valuable material b: to separate (particles) from a substance (as ore) by agitation with or in water c (1): to pass through a bath to carry off impurities or soluble components (2): to pass (a gas or gaseous mixture) through or over a liquid to purify it especially by removing soluble components
7 a: to cover or daub lightly with or as if with an application of a thin liquid (as whitewash or varnish) b: to depict or paint by a broad sweep of thin color with a brush
8: to cause to swirl
9: launder 3
intransitive verb
1: to wash oneself or a part of one's body
2: to become worn away by the action of water
3: to clean something by rubbing or dipping in water
4 a: to become carried along on water : drift b: to pour, sweep, or flow in a stream or current
5: to serve as a cleansing agent
6 a: to undergo laundering b (1): to undergo testing successfully : work 4 (an interesting theory, but it just won't wash) (2): to gain acceptance : inspire belief (the story didn't wash with me)

The soul
The dirty laundry
The consciousness

But not the hands

We'll come back soon...

2009-03-28T14:03:00.001-07:00

Guitar Hero

2009-03-19T01:30:00.001-07:00

Please notice the man behind the guitar, who's just given me yet another reason to get fired up about him:

You can crash on my island anytime.

Propecia. Your average, everyday crackwhore.

2009-03-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

This is the best thing i've ever seen in my whole life and i'm not even kidding.

See, i wasn't kidding.

Best Costume Ever!

2009-03-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

I know Halloween is still some time ahead, and I know the year has really just begun, but I challenge you to come up with a better costume than this genius lady here. I present you, Octomommy:

Greatest Hits

2009-03-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

Dialogues We (Would Like to See) Wish We Had Seen

2009-03-16T15:20:00.001-07:00

All is All and Nothing is Nothing

2009-03-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

"सब कुछ नहीं है और कुछ भी नहीं" है
Hindi

"ΌΛΑ ΕΊΝΑΙ ΌΛΑ ΚΑΙ ΤΊΠΟΤΑ ΔΕΝ ΕΊΝΑΙ ΤΊΠΟΤΑ ΔΕΝ"
Greek

"كل شيء هو كل شيء"
Arabic

"כל זה הכל ושום דבר שום דבר"
Hebrew

"すべてのすべてとは何もない"とされる"
Japanese

"모두 아무것도 아무것도"입니다"
Korean

"ВСЕ ЭТО ВСЕ И НИЧЕГО НЕ БУДЕТ НИЧЕГО"
Russian

“所有的一切，沒有什麼”
Chinese

Wise words of Tim Maia

Ads We'd Like to See - Pt.1

2009-03-15T17:45:00.001-07:00

Because this week sucked without Lost

DICKS EVERYWHERE! - Part 1

2009-03-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

We've always loved the Seinfeld episode when Elaine nearly "converts" a gay guy, and at the end she says something like "I have access to the equipment maybe 45 minutes a week - in a good week! How could I compete with who has access to it 24 hours a day, their entire lives?". An invaluable television truth!

So when Freud under delirious stupor applied the term jealousy to describe the female relationship to the penis, we think he missed a score. What we actually have is tremendous curiosity over an organ that we simply don't have, hardly comprehend, and whose functioning seems like something out of a cartoon. Who doesn't remember the Thundercat's sword, increasingly growing in size as that hot Tiger said "Thunder, thunder. thundercats, hooooooo", holding it over his crotch while tensioning his facial muscles?

Anyway, back to the dick. Maybe it's exactly because we have such limited access to it that we have been seeing penises everywhere. So we ask ourselves: is it our dirty mind or are they really fucking with us?

IN ARQUITECTURE

Christmas lights. Sure.
This is the work of a naughty architect.
WTF is this? A giant candy-CANE?
Now this is the work of a naughty gardener.
In this case, I don;t know whether to blame the carpenter or mother nature.

And of course we won't even mention the Akbar Towers in Barcelona:

IN FOOD
In the food kingdom, phallics abound. They border on pornography.

Not even coffee is safe:

IN COORPORATE LOGOS
Maybe some designers are PMSing. Maybe they are clueless. Or maybe, just maybe, they are fucking with us:

IN CHILDHOOD
As we grow older, we slowly realize more and more evidence of how much naughtiness went into everything we consumed. So open your eyes people, there are cocks everywhere:

Just an innocent toy.
These are supposedly little edible lighthouses, what doesn't make it much better.
Et tu, Cheetos?
These are scissors, you dirty minded you!

IN NATURE
Now this is where it gets nasty. Because as far as being dirty goes, Nature takes the cake.
Let's start with a couple of examples from the animal kingdom:

Yep, this is a slug. A giant slug. And it does look like a limp cock. Jealousy??? Hello, Mr. Freud!

This is an albino turtle found in China (for real). But c'mon, now, it does look like it, doesn't it? Isn't it the most bizarre creature you've seen lately? Will it not go straight into the pages of Hentai?

In the vegetable world, there are many fertile examples. Let's begin with a cactus:

Oh, the tree of life!

Please notice the uncontainable joy on this lady's face. Not a good prospective.

Even amongst fungi!
Caliente!

This leaves us with one big question: If mother nature is so prone to depravity, does that make us all sons of a whore?

Click here for Part 2.

Dialogues We Would Like to See - Pt. 3

2009-03-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

Thursday Night Quotes

2009-03-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

"I do want the credit without any of the blame."
- Michael Scott, The Office

"Attention, everyone, all menstruating women go home immediately!"
- Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock

WORLD CUP Brazil 0 X Denmark 0

2009-03-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

Though Brazil is generally kicking ass, this match was an even zero. Do we give a penalty score point for the brazilian kid who conceived this masterpiece?

Technically, Metallica is a US band, but since Lars Ulrich is Danish, I've determined this would be a battle of the drums!

WORLD CUP Brazil 2 X China 1

2009-03-12T16:02:00.000-07:00

Portuguese subtitles to the sounds of the crazy chinese lady. Really funny, if you speak Portuguese. She really wants her car and she is gonna french kiss.

How to Upgrade Your TV

2009-03-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Good Addictions

2009-03-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

Ray Lamontage

Eli "Paperboy" Reed

WORLD CUP Brasil 5 X Argentina 1

2009-03-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

WE WERE MISSING THE CLASSIC MATCH!

Dialogues We Would Like to See - Pt. 2

2009-03-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Regalito a los Amigos 8 - Lulu

2009-03-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, the last post on our series, of course, had to be here. But it is also the hardest to make, after all, it is for the other hands and heads behind this 4X4 blog (though she hasn't been around too much lately...). We are, of course, talking about Lulu.

But how could we make up a post just for her? EVERY post on this blog is for her. She created this monster! Our only criteria for selecting posts is: "Will Lulu Laugh?" - seen as she is the only guaranteed reader this media vehicle has. And only she (!) can challenge us (and likely win) as far as discovering the depths of the internet, so most of this post won't be a premiere, but a revival.

Lu is hardcore, what can I say, I know she'll be pissed but I won't begin to pour myself out because it would get sticky very quickly. She's my crooked soulmate, as only a soulmate could be in this case, the Robert De Niro to my Scorcese, I don't know, she rocks. This post is for her.

Click on pictures for larger size. Click here for the whole series.

and of course:

But one for me, one for you, ok?

Dialogues We Would Like to See - Pt. 1

2009-03-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

Forrest Gump in one minute

2009-03-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

WORLD CUP Nigeria 2 X Japan 2

2009-03-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

For the entire World Cup Series, click here.

Regalito a los Amigos 7 - Ennes Becker

2009-03-07T22:08:00.000-08:00

The seventh and almost last post on the series Friends are Keepers isn't going to one person, specifically, but to a greater entity hereby represented by the unbelievable Ennes Becker family.

Hail to choosing our own families, and hail for Má, Kinho and Lolô for always reminding us that there is a better alternative. They are people who realize positivity, who celebrate joy, who invest and believe in it. They're an inspiration throughout their existence. My favorite family.
To know more about these amazing guys and how they fly so high, go to ParaladosanjoS.

Youngsters, here's a collection of images I found around here and I thought that, somehow, would serve you as inspiration. Enjoy. Hava Naquila! (Click on images for bigger size)

PS- Some are specially for Lolô!

Lôlô, these are for you my supercalifragilistic friend!

(The 5 pictures in the series of children playing must be credited to the wonderful Jan Von Holleben)

Tribute to the Tribute

2009-03-06T23:28:00.001-08:00

Dr. Tobias Manhattan

Watchmen Tribute

2009-03-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

My Daddy Issues

2009-03-05T11:30:00.001-08:00

Sacha Baron Cohen and offspring.

Regalito a los Amigos 6 - Fê

2009-03-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

Of course, we coldn't leave out our best buddy Tuxo, the sixth dearest in the series to receive a post as a gift.

We met Fê throwing himself at the school hallways, singing Roberto Carlos to the eight graders. He's been in our lives ever since, becoming one of our greatest inspirations. When you think he's already done too much, he goes and does it double. We are shocked, we've never met anyone who didn't like him.

The idea for the series came from images I'd find online that reminded me of certain friends.

Click on pictures for larger size. Click here for the whole series.

Look Again.

2009-03-04T13:41:00.000-08:00

Click on pictures for larger size. But please do click.

Juliette and the New Romantiques

2009-03-04T01:27:00.000-08:00

Juliette has dropped the licks and has gotten romantic. Makes sense? Well, Juliette Lewis, ex-Lolita, ex=Brad-Pitt, now is also ex-Juliette and the Licks e ex-Super Punk Rock Star. She is now Juliette and the New Romantiques.

"Because this album is so sonically different than anything I've done before and captures many flavors of my emotional life and voice, it needed an entirely new name," she explains.

We anticipate more melodic jerking-off and less rock and roll. It's the masturbatory cancer of personal minimalist music ruining reputations. (Surely many folks will lov-it. Probably even ourselves)

I got nostaligic. Shall we travel down memory lane?

Juliette version Lolita to DeNiro's nabokov. Didn't fool me.

*Peepaul, we went nuts looking up pictures of Brauliette. The nineties were fatal. Faaaaaatal. Hold your breath, here we go:

What the hell is that? What's with the pompadour(s)? and the weird bangs? Not to mention that the jacket over the denim shirt over the polo shirt was simply a MUST. The sleazy goatee went hand in hand. Notice that there was no digital photography available at the time.

On their second, well-behaved look, the detail is in the blob pattern on Brad's tie, hair like he's just spent 100 days at the island of Lost and his Calvin-Klein-underwear-model looks.... from the nineties! Juli, at the top of her thirteen years, gets ready for her first communion. What's with the collar? Doesn't fool me.

This shot was taken the same day as the first one, but here we can have a better look at Juli's two sizes too big of a dress, because now that she was dating Brad she couldn't shop at the children's section anymore. Notice that Brad caught on to the oversize trend with his jacket. This picture reminded me of why I didn't like Brad Pitt back then. I had some sense.

Well, you go to the Oscars, you're the year's it girl, your dress, from what we can tell from the waist up is gorgeous, but the only thing we notice are the CORNROWS on your head because, besides being elegant, they represent, sistah. I think it was even on VH1's worst red carpet moments. Now tell me what stylist nowadays would allow his client to enter the red carpet with HARD GEL on his hair! Go back to Lost's island and call me in the future!

The Talking Heads jacket trend makes its way onto the tie's pattern. Notice the richness of detail. I am not really sure if this is really Brad or his wax rendition. Juli looks super cute, I won't say anything because I like the dress and besides she looks just like Yuli on this picture.

Peaking at their nineties fever, I wouldn't know where to begin. Vedder wannabe? he looks like some 70's sitcom lady. Once again, the tie steals the spotlight, once again his "I have no clue that in 15 years I will be a respected actor and humanitarian" looks. And Julietttt, on her ghetto-fishnet-slumdog get up "I have no clue that in 15 years I won't believe I dated this jerk".

It's alright, Jules, we forgive you. THIS is how we'll remember you:

(That is why I am absolutely sure that, in bed, she'll kick Angelina's ass any day)

Uncle Sam+The Wrestler=The Uncler

2009-03-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

Good parenting tips

2009-03-03T12:54:00.000-08:00

WORLD CUP Japan 3 X Armenia 1

2009-03-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

Obama's Elf

2009-03-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

Thanks Flá for the tip

WORLD CUP Brazil 2 X Turkey 0

2009-03-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

Click on picture for larger size.
For the entire WORLD CUP series, click here.

Regalito a los Amigos 5 - Flá

2009-03-02T10:11:00.000-08:00

We have great joy to include this fifth element on our list Friends are Keepers, because even though he's our biological brother, he's not here for granted. He is here because regardless of us knowing him since birth, he never ceases to positively surprise us every time we meet.

Everything about him is very authentic and human: his perspective, his sense of humor, his sensibilities. This compilation of images is very personal and there may be a few inside jokes.

Flá, we love you and we give thanks for your existence everyday.

Click on pictures for larger size. Click here for the whole series.

I've tried it.

2009-03-01T21:14:00.000-08:00

Regalito a los Amigos 4 - Dani

2009-03-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

The fourth post on this priviledged series will be entirely dedicated to aunt Dani. Aunt is a term of endearment, we've been using it for a while and she's about to become a real aunt sometime soon.

Dani is our oldest friend on the list, we've gone through different phases along the way, coming and going but never failing to meet in the middle. She's practically family, has a heart of gold, and made it relatively easy to compile this post (it's full), because she's keen to very specific stuff as you'll be able to see.

To our most faithful reader, Dãdã, enjoy. Click on pictures for larger size. Click on Friends are keepers to see the whole series.

Daaad!

2009-03-01T09:53:00.000-08:00

Ritalin Posterboy

2009-02-27T20:01:00.001-08:00

WORLD CUP Turkey 1 X USA 3

2009-02-27T17:21:00.001-08:00

We understand...

2009-02-27T13:17:00.000-08:00

hehehe

Via: Time

What the Fuck News or Hello? News

2009-02-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

Man keeps a woman hostage for 10 hours under a Sega light gun (???).

Only in Brasil....

Via: The Daily What

Who is it? Who is it?

2009-02-27T13:09:00.000-08:00

Can you figure out who they are?

click here to find out.

Regalito a los Amigos 3 - Má

2009-02-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

Marcone, you are prize winner number 3 on our series of posts devoted to the special people we love and who influence us.
(tag: Friends are keepers)

How can we even start to talk about Má? From what we gather he's always been present in our life (at least since we can account for it). We are certainly fit to ruin each others' reputations. But Má is our constant, and we didn't even need to watch Lost to figure that one out. Not to mention he's a genius and we'll always be jealous. Má is our backup plan in case the Hard Drive goes bezerk.

Marquette: for you, all the shit you have no patience to go looking for. Good laughs

(click on pictures for larger size)

2009-02-26T22:20:00.000-08:00

PHOTOPHILIA :: Alien Past

2009-02-26T21:27:00.001-08:00

Yet another blog inauguration: We start here a series of posts on photographers. Some are classic, some are modern and some have gained fame on the internets. We'll be kind and sample their work while linking their sites. Filed under PHOTOPHILIA.

And we begin with an anonymous genius, who under Mango Falls promotes a gig of profound poetic undertones, reviving not just in the nostalgic sense the photographic form; but subtly redefining voyeurism itself as a pre reality TV flashback.

Here's the deal: for many years he's rummaged through old photo cameras in thrift shops and the like looking for the prized loaded ones. He thus gathered a clusterfuck of film rolls that, once processed and skillfully edited, made their way into his site.

I leave a sample here, but do check it out

WORLD CUP India 3 X USA 1

2009-02-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

Out of the way, Beyónsh! India is the new black. Punjabi rocks.

Tobias Fünke Tribute

2009-02-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

Since it's been uber confirmed that - yes - they are finally going to turn that which was the single funniest TV series ever, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, into a feature film, we are taken by bursts of joy and decided to pay tribute to our favorite Bluth character, the never-nude, analrapist TOBIAS FÜNKE, who besides standing in for the Blue Man Group has also dragged as Mrs. Doubtfire in one of those anthological moments of international humor.

Regalito a los Amigos 2 - Rafa

2009-02-26T09:09:00.000-08:00

Following up on the series of posts dedicated to our best friends, we are now presenting RAFA with his own.

For all effects, this man is our husband. He's a rare combination of personality, talent and fierceness who goes from super-professional to party queen at an astounding speed. He's our role model in perseverance, and we cannot imagine our lives without him.

Rafa, we hope this post makes you laugh,

(click on the pictures for larger size)

Celebrating the union between Nations

A possibly useful service:

a dream team

2009-02-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

ai ai ai

Regalito a los Amigos 1 - Tchê

2009-02-25T10:43:00.000-08:00

Today we premiere a series of posts dedicated to people of the highest ranking in our game, the friends who always hang on to our tsunamis.

Drowned in the bottomless pit of the internets, we often find images, drawings and pictures that remind us of these loved ones and thus we turn this spot into a visual gift, to inspire thought, laughter or probably procrastination.

Today's friend is TCHE

She's like a firefly, because she shines her own light. This person can see beauty in details, she knows (in the most intuitive sense) that happiness is harvested everyday - so she has been harvesting ours. She's already chosen as essential company in our escape to paradise.

Ash Wednesday

2009-02-25T04:45:00.000-08:00

Translation (roughly, come on...)

IT'S OVER
Carnaval has past! No longer in our spirits remain but the sweet memories of joys past. Such is venture! It goes by fast and is quite costly! Let us go back to the amenities and monotony of life. And the worst part is that we feel tired, sad, with our bodies soft and a headache. These are consequences of manly pleasures, exhaustion, dancing and the abuse of alcoholic beverages.
If only all worldly woes were like this! At least there's a prompt and immediate remedy for these problems: we must only follow experience's advice, using the providential CAFIASPIRIN. One dose is enough to relieve us of all pains, discomfort and physical weariness to make us feel strong and uplifted again for work and daily chores.

Carnival

2009-02-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

OMG.

"Whenever dad lost his patience, he'd switch from the pedagogy of Piaget to Pinochet"

2009-02-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

Malvados!

Divine Intervention

2009-02-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

Martha Stewart presented her morning show yesterday with an ambiguous topic: "The Pot Show", "Pot" in this case being open to interpretation. Martha, who's an old monkey, took her fair amount of shots, until "Jebus" intervenes. Too bad. We were waiting for her "Arts and Crafts" segment "How to to roll a perfect joint". We heart Martha.

Sing it Eli, sing it.

2009-02-23T07:53:00.000-08:00

Out of the way, Valmir.

2009-02-22T15:09:00.000-08:00

We present you the new dub star of youtube internashional, the ambigous and fascinating Kennan Cahill, who gets his rocks off with no special effects. Go there for 70+ videos.

Local Tournament: Christian Vs. David

2009-02-22T11:42:00.000-08:00

We "Lovi" House

2009-02-22T09:27:00.000-08:00

House Existencial.

Devout

2009-02-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

Give me Courage, Jesus! All-loving my ass.

Dramatic

2009-02-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

period.

I got it here, certified bullshit technician