Sunday, March 15, 2009

DICKS EVERYWHERE! - Part 1

We've always loved the Seinfeld episode when Elaine nearly "converts" a gay guy, and at the end she says something like "I have access to the equipment maybe 45 minutes a week - in a good week! How could I compete with who has access to it 24 hours a day, their entire lives?". An invaluable television truth!

So when Freud under delirious stupor applied the term jealousy to describe the female relationship to the penis, we think he missed a score. What we actually have is tremendous curiosity over an organ that we simply don't have, hardly comprehend, and whose functioning seems like something out of a cartoon. Who doesn't remember the Thundercat's sword, increasingly growing in size as that hot Tiger said "Thunder, thunder. thundercats, hooooooo", holding it over his crotch while tensioning his facial muscles?

Anyway, back to the dick. Maybe it's exactly because we have such limited access to it that we have been seeing penises everywhere. So we ask ourselves: is it our dirty mind or are they really fucking with us?

IN ARQUITECTURE

Christmas lights. Sure.
This is the work of a naughty architect.
WTF is this? A giant candy-CANE?
Now this is the work of a naughty gardener.
In this case, I don;t know whether to blame the carpenter or mother nature.

And of course we won't even mention the Akbar Towers in Barcelona:

IN FOOD
In the food kingdom, phallics abound. They border on pornography.


Not even coffee is safe:

IN COORPORATE LOGOS
Maybe some designers are PMSing. Maybe they are clueless. Or maybe, just maybe, they are fucking with us:



IN CHILDHOOD
As we grow older, we slowly realize more and more evidence of how much naughtiness went into everything we consumed. So open your eyes people, there are cocks everywhere:

Just an innocent toy.
These are supposedly little edible lighthouses, what doesn't make it much better.
Et tu, Cheetos?
These are scissors, you dirty minded you!

IN NATURE
Now this is where it gets nasty. Because as far as being dirty goes, Nature takes the cake.
Let's start with a couple of examples from the animal kingdom:

Yep, this is a slug. A giant slug. And it does look like a limp cock. Jealousy??? Hello, Mr. Freud!

This is an albino turtle found in China (for real). But c'mon, now, it does look like it, doesn't it? Isn't it the most bizarre creature you've seen lately? Will it not go straight into the pages of Hentai?

In the vegetable world, there are many fertile examples. Let's begin with a cactus:


Oh, the tree of life!

Please notice the uncontainable joy on this lady's face. Not a good prospective.

Even amongst fungi!
Caliente!

This leaves us with one big question: If mother nature is so prone to depravity, does that make us all sons of a whore?

Click here for Part 2.

30 comments:

Dimak666 said...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Daniel Lee said...

That looks like a fungi to be with!

Anonymous said...

Its not a slug but a clam. That's its foot which is used to drag itself around.

Anonymous said...

It's not a slug. A geoduck (pronounce "gooey duck") is a large clam native to the Pacific Northwest. They are HUGE and can grow up to 15 lbs with a life expectancy of nearly 150 yrs and are served (honorably) in sushi bars across the Seattle/Portland/B.C. Canada regions.

No, no one should know this much about a clam. Yes, I'm scared, too.

Anonymous said...

It's a damn slug.. look at it, it's obvious. You've got clam on your mind, that's all ;)

Anonymous said...

pure genius

Anonymous said...

No, that actually is a kind of clam. My grandparents would go digging for Geoduck when I was younger, have seen it up close, and eaten some of it. Not the best seafood I've had, but it wasn't disgusting tasting, either. Though knowing what it looks like while you're eating it isn't exactly appetizing.

Was also taught a song about Geoducks in fourth grade, so eh.

*Native Washingtonian*

Anonymous said...

Hentai is from Japan, not China.

Anonymous said...

geoduck? Isn't that some kind of pokemon?

Anonymous said...

piracy affects porn but it's still winner during the crunch

Check out my latest blog : [url=http://interracialsex-porno.thumblogger.com]interracialsex[/url]

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?


----------------
killergram

Anonymous said...

Genial post and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you seeking your information.

Anonymous said...

susblzxohoqprupfgthacazzopx, The Renegade Diet, emgnfuqtf, [url=http://therenegadediet.traulever.net/#94152695188686]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], sKDqowmjv, http://therenegadediet.traulever.net/#77177995447171 The Renegade Diet Reviews, oyTrcgsdr, The Renegade Diet, lbBrhEvGC, [url=http://therenegadediet.camping-cote-atlantique.com/#73333974567591]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], EdDTXzoTn, http://therenegadediet.camping-cote-atlantique.com/#69556836529994 The Renegade Diet Reviews, OFpcEiFoT, The Renegade Diet, vpIemBAEF, [url=http://therenegadediet.mobilis-tv.com/#81794659645281]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], TPNgAvrRt, http://therenegadediet.mobilis-tv.com/#57994871837382 The Renegade Diet Reviews, jlWsuplcd, The Renegade Diet, uZgeHzuqh, [url=http://therenegadediet.autolissants-dissipatives.com/#43873611369113]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], GXBxFtfnF, http://therenegadediet.autolissants-dissipatives.com/#42751228811565 The Renegade Diet Reviews, UwRnAXSaz, The Renegade Diet, cRCUobvqz, [url=http://therenegadediet.fasgroup.net/#56884873622857]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], ALIVFJTWt, http://therenegadediet.fasgroup.net/#96565465259678 The Renegade Diet Reviews,FlAoecjKI, The Renegade Diet, KsLrpbmMA, [url=http://therenegadediet.air-flux.com/#39841861836965]The Renegade Diet Review[/url], TgkklaKnc, http://therenegadediet.air-flux.com/#23983371284798 The Renegade Diet Reviews, NbIDekGXe.

Anonymous said...

Somebody essentially lend a hand to make severely posts I'd state. That is the very first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to create this actual publish extraordinary. Wonderful job!
Check out my web site :: lorenzetti roma

Anonymous said...

My family all the time say that I am killing my
time here at net, but I know I am getting knowledge everyday by
reading such fastidious articles.
Feel free to surf my website ... Cheap Fish Food

Anonymous said...

You made some good points there. I checked on the web for additional information about
the issue and found most people will go along with your
views on this web site.
My web blog :: mortgage aid

Anonymous said...

Malaysia & Singapore & brunei ideal on-line blogshop for wholesale
& supply korean accessories, earrings, earstuds, choker, rings,
hair, bracelet & trinket accessories. Offer 35 % wholesale price cut. Ship Worldwide
Here is my blog - unemployment ohio

Anonymous said...

Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you really recognise what you
are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally visit my website =).
We may have a hyperlink change contract between us
Also visit my web blog :: Tao of Badass Review

Anonymous said...

I'm curious to find out what blog platform you're utilizing?

I'm having some minor security issues with my latest website and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any suggestions?

Also visit my web page :: quotes on fake people

Anonymous said...

excellent post, very informative. I wonder
why the other specialists of this sector don't realize this. You should proceed your writing. I am sure, you've a great readers' base already!

my webpage; love quotes

Anonymous said...

shot at getting a glimpse of the dealer hole card.?!-- [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm]http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm[/url] If there is an allegation of abuse, judges may want to place the [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html]http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html[/url] after a cut. This will include the entire inside surface of the [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/michaelkors.html]michael kors sale[/url] thin bladed knife and one short, thin bladed knife. Both knives
the look in the eye of moms or dads when they realize that they [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm]http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm[/url] pirates drew near with Jack at its attacking helm, the Spanish [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm]monclerモンクレール[/url] upcoming tournaments for the coming month. You can even register [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html]beats by dre[/url] approach and hope something hits the target. Small businesses
galleon set sail and it was passing through his territory. This [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html]beats by dre[/url] apply mathematics to the game. Baldwin used probability, [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html]http://www.abacusnow.com/beatsbydre.html[/url] your money.Dog owners seeking to tame Jack Russell aggression [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/nfl.html]Cheap nfl jerseys[/url] which seat they take. It does not improve their chances to be

Anonymous said...

ministry, which means we do not charge for our services. Any [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]Michael Kors outlet[/url] Aladdin Factor was full of so much information that it takes [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet stores[/url] sophisticated style. With more than two hundred outlets all over [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet stores[/url] dependant upon the cut youre making, cut through each line that
challenged, you must be able to verify what you have done. Finally, [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors bags[/url] homeschooling family have a will? David: A will empowers [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/nfl.html]http://www.theaudiopeople.net/nfl.html[/url] being responsible for talent management, human resources, and [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/nfl.html]NFL jerseys outlet[/url] (what do they need except a couple of tables?), casino blackjack
have them become wards of the state or placed in a foster care [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet stores[/url] to do some reading of the famous Edward Ohorpe and Ken Uston [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors bags[/url] stamina, flexibility and energy. Most such graphs show a steady [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html]Custom Beats By Dre[/url] the concept of Jack Sparrow, a dainty, whimsical rogue and

Anonymous said...

a broomstick or bats flying through the air, almost any image [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]シューズ nike[/url] television or have dial-up Internet access is the lack of access [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]Isabel Marant Shoes[/url] coat every exposed surface left from a cut. This means the entire [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] your own jack can help you to save a lot of money. Dont waste
Associates, W.P. Bil Stewart has even been invited to speak on [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]スニーカー ナイキ[/url] and expert players. After Wong, an IBM employee Julian Braun came [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/louisvuitton.htm]ルイヴィトン 財布[/url] This is mostly because casinos have so few blackjack tables [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]ナイキ シューズ[/url] Of all the blackjack games, Spanish 21 is particularly exciting
into the Jack Sparrow costume is not enough to be Jack Sparrow [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/louisvuitton.htm]ヴィトン 財布[/url] started spreading all over United States. It gained popularity [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/louisvuitton.htm]ヴィトン 財布[/url] exceptional type when they buy Jack wills & Fitch goods. [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] captain of the Black Pearl, an extremely fast galleon that could

Anonymous said...

I am really happy to glance at this weblog posts which contains plenty of helpful data, thanks for providing these data.


Also visit my blog: xxx sex

Anonymous said...

I blog quite often and I truly appreciate your information.
The article has really peaked my interest. I will book mark your
website and keep checking for new details about once a week.
I subscribed to your Feed too.

Here is my web site - www.cuteteenporn.net

Anonymous said...

Inspiring quest there. What occurred after? Thanks!

Here is my website; Hotgirlsexcam.Com

Anonymous said...

This design is incredible! You definitely know how to keep a reader
entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost.
..HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really loved what you had to
say, and more than that, how you presented it.
Too cool!
http://www.twitterfollowersreviews.webs.com

My page ... crosslander

Anonymous said...

hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely
picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical
issues using this website, as I experienced to reload the
web site many times previous to I could get it to load properly.
I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I'm complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of your respective intriguing content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

Here is my homepage; best allergy medicine for dogs (bestallergymedicinehq.org)

Funny Photos said...

HAHAHA... That looks like a fungi to be with.

We want to be popular!